Abstract Bibliometric indicators like the impact factor, the h-index and citation counts are a source of controversy among academics and research managers. Bibliometric experts spend increasing efforts to extend, refine and normalize indices that would hopefully free academia from the plague of subjectivity and favoritism. Will these numbers maintain the promise of delivering objective assessments of individual and institutional research performance, fostering productivity and optimal resource allocation? To find an answer, some real stories will be told and discussed: the scientist who achieved a Nobel-worthy h-index, the Egyptian University that surpassed Harvard and Stanford in the 2010 Times Higher Education University Ranking, the fate of bibliometrics in the British and Australian research assessment exercises, the Chinese 'publication bubble', to arrive at the infamous 'top ten in impact factor manipulation'.

Bio Giuseppe De Nicolao, began his career at the 'Mario Negri' Institute of Pharmacological Researches and held a position at the Italian National Research Council (CNR) before joining the University of Pavia, where he is full professor at the Department of Industrial and Information Engineering. His main scientific interests range from model predictive control and model identification to their applications to physiological systems and industrial processes, including research on model-based drug development, the artificial pancreas, and advanced process control for semiconductor manufacturing. On these subjects he authored or coauthored more than 100 journal papers and is coinventor of patents. He served in the editorial board of the IEEE Transactions on Automatic Control and Automatica and is currently an associate editor of the IEEE Transactions on Control Systems Technology. He has been the recipient of research grants funded by Pharmacia, GlaxoSmithKline, Magneti Marelli, STMicroelectronics and Infineon Technologies. He is cofounder and editor of the blog Roars (Return on Academic ReSearch), whose aim is to promote the discussion and analysis of trends and topics in higher education and academic research policy.